The Lonely Man is alone, yet he carries within him the many. In his sickness he has been left by all that knew him. In his desperation he has created, with his broken mind, the illusion of many. They carry the internal conversation into his external reality. His training was disillusionment- what he read he became- for the reality of his existence was too much to take and The Lonely Man shattered his reality. It was easier to believe he was a master than to accept a life fated to be empty and meaningless. In his mind, he wasn’t broken, he was supreme- thoughts of grandeur abounded. This illusion much more acceptable, believable even, than his reality.
Medication breaks the illusion, but dulls The Lonely Man and forces him to accept his very limited life. Those that love him return to him, but all The Lonely Man feels is their pity. To him this is quite a displeasing reality- he is dulled and feels he is nothing. He prefers the illusion- the false reality- the voices, spirits and demons make life meaningful and he is master in this realm. He stops taking his medication and believes that meditation is the answer. Those that love him, never cease loving him, but must pull away from him. In their absence The Lonely Man’s remaining grasp of reality shatters completely. Once and for all The Lonely Man is truly alone.
Alone. Devastating his already fragile mind, his personality splinters. The Lonely Man found friends, created within his shattered, broken brain. Each friend a created personality, with the names of spirits and demon he has faced in his unmedicated mind and the names of those that have shown him compassion, his caregivers while enduring hospitalizations. The Lonely Man shouts from his mountain, “I am me and these are my friends and partners- together, we and we alone, will change the world!!!” Delusions of grandeur combine with manic madness turn what was read while lucid into a philosophical doctrine. He takes on students to teach his canon to. Each new student to be trained is a new personality created, each personality a new voice with which to write. It begins as a few, but multiples to become the many, as the further he drifts from reality the more fractured he becomes.
The Lonely Man has never been less alone, the voices speak to another and he, with youthful eagerness, engages in these conversations. In the writing each voice is an attempt to capture the reader’s attention, to retain and draw them into his world. The Lonely Man feels that appealing to the appalling masses means multiplying the one to become the many. In lucid moments he takes the writing done in manic moments of madness and creates readable books and endless blogs. The lucidity never last long though and the books and blogs are only a representation of The Lonely Man’s broken reality.
Madness is often accompanied with a certain charismatic charm. In his lucid moments The Lonely Man uses this charm to gain people’s acceptance and belief in his philosophical doctrine. Under scrutiny though, this doctrine does not hold up and when questioned The Lonely Man allows the multiple personalities to answer. Their answers, always vague, only lead the questioners in circles that lead to more questions than answers. The Lonely Man lives and thrives in vague obscurity. He attempts to belittle the questioner for their doubt or inability to comprehend his doctrine.
The Lonely Man is dangerous. For there are those that don’t question and just blindly follow his beliefs and they are being taught a corruption of the truth. A truth he has read and decided that instead of insanity, it was him being a master of spirituality that made him so different from others. The Lonely Man desires to heard and followed, it fills his need for grand delusion- makes him feel like a master to the Lesser. Be forewarned- The Lonely Man resides in a self-created, black circle of hell, from which there is no escape and from which The Lonely Man desires no escape.
Question that which
attempts to remain unknown
for truth is obvious and
seeks to be known
not hidden in obscurity.